I’ll start this by saying that I have been loving you all this time. I was living the typical, new-boy-in-town life in this new place when you suddenly appeared and flew right pass through me. The first time was a downer. I didn’t notice you at all. You just existed in a parallel universe, saving lives and occasionally dropping a negative comment or two about how your life sucks (and how life sucks for others). Basically, HOW LIFE SUCKS.

Then came this one day. I was walking to nowhere, thinking of what will happen next. Then you suddenly landed from flight and continued walking beside me. RIGHT AWAY I noted that you’re indeed VERY BEAUTIFUL. I obliged. From what you told me, I figured that even with you’re superpowers and pastel-colored, mismatched costume (with stars on the nipples, on the forehead and bulletproof bracelets), you’re having a hard time expressing what you really feel, like you don’t belong to the world you’re in, and that people don’t seem to understand you at all. 

I listened. We laughed. I cared. I loved. With you here I feel really safe and happy. I swore to myself (hell, even to my ancestors) that I will never let the world hurt this misunderstood superhero ever again. I want to be with you so bad. Common sense tells me it’s impossible, but your smile told me it can be done. 

But as quick as you appeared, YOU LEFT. You just disappeared. You just f*cking, freaking flew away. 

Now you’re gone. I don’t even know what’s in your mind right now. I didn’t have the chance to hear if you’re still living in your little, enclosed, misunderstood world. I don’t know if you’re okay, or if you’re not. I don’t know a thing. For the first time in my life, I have to admit: this time I’m clueless.

One day you flew low again. You were very close to me. I can almost feel your breath. You hovered low, but you left. You never said a word. Your face was blank. The warmth and friendship your presence brought was now replaced with cold. Seems like you yourself misunderstood yourself now.

A lot of time has passed. Still I waited. I waited. And in my free time, I waited some more. I have been hoping that once again you’ll fly back, hover beside me, and give me the chance to see that beautiful, chinky-eyed smile that almost always made my heart jump in mixed euphoria and terror. :)

But this has to end now. I was there. I was always there. I listened. I am solid. I am definite. You can touch me. I can hear you. I cared. I understood. I have been patient. But I have to stop. Now, I know you don’t want these things anyway, too.

I was not there. I was never there. I didn’t fucking listen at all. I am a mirage. I am indefinite. You can’t touch me, and no matter how loud you shout, I can’t hear you. I didn’t understand a thing at all. I have never been patient.

Believe me, miss. I didn’t even want to stop. 

Yours,

Joel